Judaism Pops

As the Jewish High Holidays draw to a close before Hanukkah (and the new season ofSouth Park has started), PopParody deemed it fitting to collect a list of all the Jews of the pop world who may or may not have celebrated Rosh Hashana and fasted at Yom Kippur in 2011 (or 5772 in Judaism). Yes these aren't the funnest holidays of the year, I sincerely doubt busy pop artists would observe a holiday that didn't have eight days of presents. Yet, if Adam Sandler were to write a new "Hanukkah Song" for today's popular Jews, his list might surprise you.

Now, the list has decreased since Sandler's song. I believe the typical Jewish Ben Stein voice (Bueller.. Bueller..) doesn't usually translate well into modern pop. What has worked for Bob Dylan and Simon and Garfunkel in the past, can't always work today. Which is why Jews invade the business end of pop, namely producers. Yet, Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine has two Jewish parents and obtained the looks that hide his Jewish-ness (just like Elvis). With a last name like Levine, many could speculate he was Jewish, but this should not be confused with Avril Lavigne who spells it the Canadian way.

Speaking of Canadians, Young Money's Drake has a Jewish-Canadian mother and was totally Bar Mitzvah-ed, people. Which, yes, does make him Jewish. His new album's release date has been postponed, but he has recently been working with another half-Jew, Lenny Kravitz. In Kravitz's recently released Black and White America album, the half-Jew duo cranked out a full-Jew song "Sunflower".

Finally, I'll end with a couple of other (less-than) shocking Jewish (or half) pop artists. Adam Lambert of "American Idol", Josh Groban (a little Jewish descent), P!nk, Paula Abdul, Rebecca Black (not really a pop artist), Andy Samberg of The Lonely Island and the late Amy Winehouse.

And, you certainly won't believe this but "Love Song" singer and "Sing-Off" judge Sara Bareilles is actually not Jewish.

S Club 27

I saw Jimi Hendrix on an HP laptop commercial today that reminded me of a musicians' "club" important to us in 2011. You see, the timing for the commercial was almost unfortunate because it ironically followed the addition of a new member to the 27 Club, Amy Winehouse. Yes, if you haven't heard of the 27 Club, it's an informal group of influential, yet troubled rockers that only made it to (of course) age 27. Featured above are the biggest names in the club, but certainly don't include them all. Brian Jones (an original Rolling Stone), Jimi Hendrix (the Voodoo Child), Jim Morrison of The Doors, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, and latest member Amy Whinehouse together preach how difficult it is to reach age 28 when you're a rock star.

Now, something important to know about the club is that the first four died in consecutive years starting in 1969 to 1971. Those were tragic years for music and the pop world. Not only that, but many feared those first four stars would popularize a way out from a rock star's life. For you understand, mostly those deaths were overdoses a trend started by the King himself, Elvis Presley (who made it to 42).

Yet, the club was seeing clear years for two full decades, and it seemed that the club was no more than a early 70's fad. But pop music did not shine in the rest of the 70's and 80's like it had, the club (thought tragic) kept pop musicians very interesting. The troubled lives of musicians practically writes music for itself, and without much pop drama in this time music was boring. However, music still evolved into the 90's, when a young garage band seemed to have made it big. Nirvana and "Smells Like Teen Spirit" defined Generation X and its music. However, the pop trend is: when a pop star begins to influence and lead a generation, the stress from the power becomes unwieldy. Lead singer, Kurt Cobain, as we all know joined the 27 Club in 94.

But Cobain did not open Pandora's Box as many expected. The last time the 27 Club was admitting members, many joined at once. This was fortunately not the case in the 90's, and the club's doors stayed dormant for another couple of decades. Well, not quite.

Amy Winehouse, a British singer-songwriter with two incredible soul albums died yesterday at age 27. The public saw her life of hardships and drugs alongside her heavy influence on pop. And although she hadn't released an album or single in over three years, her influence over music today is obvious. I see a lot of Winehouse in Lady Gaga today, and hopefully the burden isn't passed on. Gaga is most definitely not hiding her drugs alongside of her heavy pop influence and troubled past, but please, dear, do not join the 27 Club like many before you. Gaga, you have three more years to make it to 28. You can do it, do it for all of your little monsters!

PopMeme

The following information may cause unrest in the Illuminati community. Therefore, I do not endorse any part of this article as absolute factual truth. I will, however, attempt to shed light on popular Illuminati culture to the public. I've been contemplating writing this article for quite some time, considering I would like to have a future. Again, if this article is my last, the Illuminati has excommunicated me and possibly eradicated my blog.

If you have made it this far, you are about to hear some shocking secrets of the Illuminati Manifesto. First, you must understand that the purpose of the Illuminati is to act as the "power behind the throne". Today, the definition has expanded to anyone with world-wide influence. Unsurprisingly, many pop artists are avid members of the Illuminati.

I should mention all of the following information was obtained by a source of mine, who does not wish to be named for personal protection. Henceforth I will refer to him/her under the code name "Ducci", who I don't believe is a member of the Illuminati.

So Ducci tells me about initiation into the secret society as described in the Manifesto. According to Ducci, you cannot be initiated into the society until you are 18. Therefore, Ducci says, Justin Bieber is not yet a member. Ducci believes Bieber is being prep-ed for membership due to his world-wide influence over young teens. This claim is also supported by Bieber's current courtship with 19-year old Selena Gomez, who must therefore be a member of the Illuminati.

Next, although you may be older than 18 until you are confronted, you will be randomly confronted by two Illuminati members who believe your talent is quality. With modern communication technology, you may be e-mailed, text messaged or Facebook chatted, but you will know when it happens if it happens.

Your involvement with the Illuminati from here is up to you. Yet, because you are not a Reptilian (a term that is kept very secret) you do not make the rules to follow. Not much is known about those who make the rules but we do know a few based on pop events. The most obvious display of the Manifesto's rules was during the 1990's East Side/West Side rap war described in my last post. Both 2pac and Notorious B.I.G. used to be members of the Illuminati. Obviously, they had quite an influence over the hip-hop community and their affiliation with the Illuminati was clear. The interpretation of their murders is attributed to their membership. We believe today that they were threatening to cease their membership since they became selfish.

For you see, if your ego gets too big about your own success and you quit membership, the Illuminati will excommunicate you to remind you how you got your fame. So 2pac and Big E. were excommunicated during a staged "rap war" to hide their affiliation with the Illuminati. Jay-Z of the same generation debuted as an obvious member of the Illuminati. Ducci believes to protect himself from excommunication he displays various hand symbols the public assumes are Illuminati. Now, his friend Kanye West is also a member, but is in danger of the super-ego that excommunicated members.

Yet, most of our favorite pop artists are Illuminati members. This comes as no surprise, they are certainly influential figures. Rihanna displays various hand symbols as well as part of her Barbadian superstitions. But obviously our biggest influence today (female influential world figure #9) is Lady Gaga. She has displayed many allusions to Illuminati secrets. To see in more detail these allusions go to: http://vigilantcitizen.com/musicbusiness/lady-gaga-the-illuminati-puppet/

According to Ducci, Lady Gaga must be careful of her acquired influence and not take it to heart. Her "Fame" must be attributed to her membership with the Illuminati, not herself. If she attempts to part ways with the society she will end up like her role model Amy Winehouse and possibly also join the infamous 27 Club. For you see, we understand the Illuminati to be the cause for Winehouse's early shortcoming.

This is what Ducci understands of the Illuminati and nothing more. If you seek more information you may find yourself in hot water (literally).